An Introduction to Parts Work
Welcome to Meaningful Mondays! Every week, I share what feels true and useful to me. I am passionate about systems change and the nervous system, sacredness and purposeful living, among other things.
I often refer to PARTS WORK in this blog. It is the psychological tool that most supports me and my coaching clients to feel more content and alive. So, I thought it was time I gave you a short introduction to the topic. There are so many interesting aspects I want to talk about in the future, which will be more accessible if you have the basics. I’m also excited to be releasing a Guided Parts Work Meditation on YouTube, which I’ll share with you at the bottom of this email.
The benefits of parts work
In a nutshell, the aim of parts work is to welcome and accept more of yourself, as you are right now, and as you are becoming, moment to moment. This can support many different goals, such as:
Making better decisions
Releasing you from stuckness
Increasing your energy
Having a more harmonious/integrated/aligned inner life
Understanding yourself better.
What are parts?
Parts work is based on the Internal Family Systems model. IFS was created by Dr Richard Schwartz over 40 years ago. It explained his observation that therapy clients always seemed to have internal tension between different parts that made it difficult for them to live the lives they wanted.
You might imagine that, inside you, there are characters with distinct personalities and habits. We call these ‘parts’. Dr Schwartz has estimated that an average psychologically healthy adult has between 30-50 parts. (My friend Vicki believes the number is far higher!)
There are broadly two kinds of part that we all have.
One kind is the ‘protector parts’. These are the parts that manage our day-to-day experience and are responsible for our habitual behaviours. They do these things because they believe they need to protect us from feeling our hurt feelings, the feelings that we hold in our hurt parts.
Protector parts have a huge variety of personalities. For example, People Pleaser, Inner Critic, Joker, Dreamer, Problem Solver and Fighter could all be protector personalities. In IFS, protector parts are divided into managers and firefighters. Managers are pro-active and firefighters are reactive to emotional triggers. I use the simpler terminology from Aletheia coaching, because we work with all protector parts in the same way.
The ‘hurt parts’ are the parts of us that hold our unprocessed emotional wounds, usually from childhood. A hurt part could hold shame, fear, or sadness, for example. We held onto these emotions because at the time they arose, they were too overwhelming for us to process. However, it is possible for us, as adults, to create the conditions in which it is safe to feel and process those past experiences.
What happens when we work with our parts?
In parts work, you take up the position of inner parent, or inner leader, in order to relate with your parts.
You build trusting relationships with parts of yourself that are not usually seen by you as they truly are. These parts might have been suppressed or rejected by other parts of you - perhaps parts that represent the influence of your parents or culture. Or, they may be so central to your everyday experience that you (and they) may believe they are you.
As you give your parts the unconditional attention they need, from this parental position, they will reveal to you why they are there and the important role they have played in your life.
As your parts feel seen, understood, loved and valued exactly as they are, they will start to ‘melt’, releasing the habitual patterns that typically drive your daily experience. The energy and skills previously monopolised by those parts will be liberated to be used by your whole being, as needed.
Want to give it a try?
Parts work is experienced at the levels of the body and emotions, as well as the thinking mind. I’ve made a Guided Parts Work Meditation to take you through the process. The video is 25 minutes long but you should set aside at least 40 minutes to fully explore. The idea is that you pause the video when you are actually relating with your parts. Once you’ve got the hang of parts work, even 10-15 minutes can be enough time to improve your inner relationships.
You can also go through the process using my written guide to solo parts work, from which the text in this post is taken.
I’d love to know how you get on with the practice!
With love,
Robin
These are my upcoming workshops. All workshops will be at the Gasworks Studio in St Werburgh’s, Bristol, 7-9pm, unless otherwise stated. See below for an online workshop this Sunday!
Circling: The next in person event is on Friday 1st March. All sessions are open to beginners and those with experience. You can book a place for circling here.
Circling with Self: Takeovers: Sunday 25th February, 2.30pm to 4pm, *online workshop*.
Yaniv Rose, an IFS trained facilitator who hosts authentic relating events and trainings in Thailand, is visiting Bristol in a couple of weeks. We're going to be co-facilitating a workshop that combines circling and parts work! More on that next week.
In preparation for this, we are hosting an online version of the event this Sunday. There are just 7 places, available by donation (suggested £5-10). Because of the shorter format and the experimental intention of this online workshop, it is only open to those who have circled at least once before.
I coach individuals who know they have something beautiful to offer the world and want a little help to fully realise their potential. Please take a look at my website and get in touch if you’d like to book a free discovery call.
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